The thought of getting older still terrifies me. With slowing metabolisms, hairy chins (and only God knows where else), declining hair growth, eye bags and all, it’s not hard to see why. However, I find we often identify or focus too much on the negatives (as with most things) whilst blocking out the advantages. And with that, I have been on a mission to discover the benefits in my approaching 30 (by God’s grace).
Let’s take it waaaaaay back. In my teens, I was so conscious of err, lets see everything and everyone. Thoughts of “‘What do they think’, ‘How do I look’, ‘Would I be accepted’” constantly filled my head. Really, what did it matter? Or rather, what did they matter? We often placed so much emphasis on impressing the ‘wrong set’ of people and tried so hard to conform to standards society thought were ideal.
For instance, the criteria of what being good-looking was always baffled me. And I found that my thoughts changed with my geographical location. In my early teens in Nigeria, I associated it with being a lighter complexion (preferably mixed race) coupled with the precise amount of body flesh (in the right places). In England, it got slightly more complicated. Beauty was further analysed. I was shocked to find that one could be classified as beautiful, should she have a full mouth, cute button-y nose, large eyes, graceful long neck, endless legs etc. Shooo! I was weak. What didn’t I try? Ok so I had the full mouth hands down but on numerous occasions, I got friends to pull my neck whilst pressing my shoulders down; tie a paschmina around my waist at night only to wake up practically breathless in the middle of the night. I also tried holding my nose every chance I got and need I explain the then never-ending heels.
Why? I repeat why? Yes I know I can ask this now but that’s what comes with easing into my late 20s. I have become less apologetic for who I am and who & what I represent. And to make things clear, I am a lady who is passionate about many things – a few of which are Jesus Christ, love, female empowerment and organising/decorating events. Don’t get me wrong, I have my share of doubts and sometimes need reassurance but there is a difference. And it’s that – unlike before – now I seek God’s voice and the voices of the lovely people I have surrounded myself with. And so with all their help, I will not be ‘fixed’ into anyone’s ideal female. (Besides the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31).
Another thing I am inclined to do is spend more time studying women older and wiser than me. There’s truly no better way to learn. You would see that the successful and admirable ones are excellent at what they do from constant practice and dedication. And with this comes certain self-assurance. They are wise enough to pick their battles and words with care. They can stand strong on their own. Don’t know about you but this really excites me! I am giddy with what the next decade will bring. Or rather, what path I will create in the next decade. Standing firm on God’s word, I pray and I am expectant that with hard work and constant enthusiasm, my light will shine bright.
And with that, I actively chase 30 whilst screaming ‘Roll on the next decade’!!!
